Middle-aged Mama Moment

Middle age comes with some good things and some sad things.

Having some freedom is nice. Doing things without the concern of a little one 24/7 is a relief.

But the same thing is also one of the sad things about this stage of life.

A while back, I crossed paths with a young mother heading into Walmart with her three young children. A baby sat on her hip, while she held the hand of a smaller child, and led another one who was old enough to walk beside her. She smiled from ear to ear wrangling her children into the store. I smiled because she reminded me of my daughter-in-law with her young children. Just as I passed her, I heard someone yell “Mama!!” I glanced farther down the parking lot and saw my middle son (whose wife I’d just been thinking about) waving wildly at me. He was helping get the kids out of the car as his wife put the youngest in a stroller. I waved at them, popped my trunk, and started loading my groceries while my son took care of his own family.

As I placed the bags in the car a thought crossed my mind.

Not very long ago he would’ve been helping me load groceries into my car.

Instead of helping his mom like the good boy he had been growing up, he was helping his wife like the good husband he is now.

My heart hurt.

Can I turn back time and enjoy him as my young son again just for little awhile? They made their way toward me as my middle-aged heart ached to be a mom once again. “I was just thinking of you guys!” I said as my sweet granddaughter ran toward me and gave me a hug. After a brief chat, they made their way into the store. I closed my trunk and headed home. I’m not gonna lie . . . I shed some tears before I got there. It’s strange to be in a phase of life where I’m proud of the men my sons have become but I want my little boys back. I want them to unload my groceries and eat cookie dough I meant to be used for cookies. I want to do their laundry and gripe that they won’t put it away. Being a mama is such a wonderful thing but sometimes it’s hard to realize you can’t keep the moments forever. Those moments that seemed ordinary at the time are gone before you know it. You can’t relive them. You can only remember them. Of course, there are new wonderful moments with sweet grandchildren running to you for a hug. I know I need to cherish them because they’ll grow up way too fast.

But oh my, some of these moments in my middle-aged life are kinda painful.

Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6